The Twelve Days of Christmas

If you’re thinking you’d like to avoid being a part of “A Mall and The Night Visitors,” read on.

If you have a true love, try the 12 Days of Christmas this way. For the first twelve days of December give her/him twelve of the most outrageously expensive gifts you can buy. (kidding) Try to use your brain and heart to show your love - a note, candy, a goofy project. Fixing something that’s needed repair for too long is always appreciated. You figure it out. You don’t always have to buy it.

Got kids? This can be great. I started this when our children were little squirts. It was really tough for them to wait for Christmas, so for the second twelve days, December 13 - 24, I did stuff for them. It gave them something to look forward to each day as they waited and waited for Christmas.

I once made a hot glue gun holder. Not fancy - and we still use it. Story night by the tree is great. Times together are priceless. (As a kid, I always thought priceless and worthless were the same word. I was confused a lot in those days.)

The kids are grown now and out into the world - and I still do it. Last year I made a recording with a continuing story about Santa, bad guys, elves with outrageous sound effects and music patches in GarageBand. Twelve chapters. They loved it. I loved it even more.

This year I am going to send them . . . I’ll tell you later - I’m still working on it.

The deal is, give it some thought. Spend some time and plan ahead. And if time is short for you these days, think about doing something, anything, to show your love. And if you celebrate something else this season, adapt this idea any way you want. Got love? Share it!

Bold Contemptible Know Nothings

Picture me in the 4th grade, St Paul of the Cross School in Park Ridge, Illinois. My class has the dreaded Sister Mark for the whole year. She was a tough cookie, worked us hard, and didn’t suffer fools lightly.

It was springtime and some of us were putting worms down girls’ backs. We were turned in by some do-gooder and there we were facing a sputteringly-angry Sister Mark.

“Did you boys put worms down these girls’ backs?”
“Oh no, Sister, we were just throwing them up in the air and the happened to go down . . .”

We didn’t finish. One by one she grabbed us by the shoulders, shaking us back and forth.

“You boys are BOLD! You’re BOLD CONTEMPTIBLE KNOW NOTHINGS!”

That was one of her favorite phrases - Bold Contemptible Know Nothings. Indeed.

Well, we had our revenge. We created a Contemptible Know Nothing Club. Had meetings in the fort Dad built behind our house. We even made a sign. I can still see it. We took a hunk of plywood and, with my wood burner, carefully wrote: “C.N.N.C.”

I was talking to one of those guys many years later, laughing about Sister Mark . . . when we realized the sign should have read: “C.K.N.C.”

Well, at least we weren’t contemptible.

Pickle Pie

I just received a wonderful note from a woman who has been hearing about my song “Pickle Pie” for years. She was able to reach me through the internet and now will be sharing this music with another generation.

Well, here’s the story of “Pickle Pie.” Di and I were back in the midwest for the summer with our new son, Bodin (Anika and Katrina hadn’t come along yet). We worked at the Ojai Valley School in California, and summer was our time to be with family. I had a goal to write five new songs and I really wanted to write a lullaby for Bodin.

But hard as I would try to write a lullaby, this crazy song with a New Orleans groove would not stay out of my head. I’d push it away, but to no avail - it demanded to be written. When I finally gave in and wrote “Pickle Pie,” the lullaby, “Bears to the Moon,” came easily and was worth taking a detour.

“Pickle Pie” never really owned the New Orleans groove as I wrote it, but it does have really good sticking quality - as in “sticks in your head!”

Recording the song was outrageous. I wanted to put a crunching pickle at the end, so I brought some fancy, refrigerated pickles to the studio. Larry Hockhalter, the owner/engineer, would play the song in my earphones and I was supposed to add a crunching pickle track at the end. But I couldn’t stop laughing. I ruined take after take - pickle after pickle. He finally had to shut off my earphones as I munched, what I hoped would be, my last pickle. My stomach had too many pickles, but it worked beautifully. And now you know the rest of the pickle pie!

A New Sound

I experienced something quite unusual at my recent gig at Grace Cafe in Dodgeville, WI. I had a connection with the audience like never before. And it is really a technical reason. I recently purchased the Bose L1 sound system. And, no, I’m not getting paid for this and, yes, it is truly amazing.

People in the audience told me that it didn’t sound like a sound system, that it was very clean, easy to hear, and they could carry on conversations while they listened. With my sound coming from behind me, I could really play with it like never before. When I have used this with my children’s performances, it’s like we’re all in this wonderful sound bubble, there is no harshness, and it allows me to play with the nuisances of my sound. So very sweet.

So if you’re a player, go check it out. There will be a sticker shock, like with all Bose products. I balked when I looked it up. I had just decided to turn my back on this expensive stuff when I saw a player, Vicki Emerson, come in at the Shake Rag Cafe, run by Grace Cafe. Dang, if it wasn’t a sweet sound. She graciously let me test drive it, and I was sold.

Happy New Year . . . or Happy '007

Greetings on the beginning of what I hope will be a year more peace and harmony for all of us!

On New Year's Eve, I was singing with some children at the Old Royal Inn in Mineral Point. I have a song that includes, "I've got a wish for a Happy New Year. I've got a wish and I've got it right here. And my wish for this Happy New Year is . . ." And this is where we fill in the blanks.

One lad wished for "All of the Godzilla stuff that was ever made." Yea, and at his age I would of wished for a train!

For those of us who have been around for a while, let's aim high this year.

For those of us who hold children near to our hearts, I recommend the book, "Child Honoring, How to Turn this World Around"
It is edited by Raffi Cavoukian (yes, THE Raffi) and Sharna Olfman. The foreword is by the Dalai Lama. It's well worth your time.